Music Lens
by shedreamsofstars
Summary: I have heard many times that musicians hide behind their instruments. I do supposed mine would do a fine job, but I can't imagine that a dancers feet give them much stability. Gamzee/Tavros (PBJ), JohnKat (communism), high school, art school, music, ballet, dance, drug use.
1. Chapter 1

Growing up, I was given everything I ever asked for. It was handed to me on a silver platter with every object made of gold. It didn't matter what it was; a train set, face paint, a car that I was too young to drive. It didn't matter how much it cost; 200 dollars, 10 dollars, 30 THOUSAND dollars.

I got it.

Growing up, I was given everything I ever asked for, but never what I really wanted. I didn't care about any of the things my Father brought back from his travels. I couldn't care less about the shit my mom bought me to get me to shut up about all her stupid affairs - as if my Father was that dim. All I ever wanted was for him to stay for more than a couple of nights. All I ever wanted was for ME to be the one that she kissed good night for once.

I took a long drag from my joint, leaning back against the window frame and positioning my leg as if I were in a small box rather than a ledge. White smoke billowed through the air, swirling around itself and disappearing into the misty night sky of the city; it looked near blue tonight. There were stars gleaming from every corner and a moon as big as my face in the mirror. Every now and then a helicopter or airplane would blink a little red light at me, or one as pale as the stars themselves and I would be struck dumb by confusion.

"You know, you are one seriously screwed up motherfucker." I said to the sky with a slightly cynical bite to my words.

"You know, talking to yourself is probably one of the main reasons why people think you are so crazy." A voice shouted from behind me. My head spun around, carrying my body with it. I propelled my legs over the side of the window, slamming them onto the floor. My legs, as long as they were, bent up to my chest though three feet in front of myself. I rested a spindly arm on my knee. Or rather might I say it was fairly scrawny, albeit skin and bones.

"Awe, sorry bro. Did I wake ya'?" I cooed at the short, angry looking boy lying shirtless on the bed situated parallel to my own. His chin was propped on his hands, his chest lifted from the bright red sheets of his bed and a gray blanket covering his legs. Anger was immediate upon looking at him- his eyes were narrowed and he was sucking in his bottom lip, almost surely biting it. But this is only a surface façade and, being his roommate, I knew better than to buy it.

"Shut up fuckass…" There was a muffled thump and his arms and head dropped to the mattress, fingers curling around the edges of his blanket, pulling to his chin.

I looked at him, feigning shock, head tilted slightly to the side. I put a hand to my chest, being careful not to drop my joint from it as I moved.

"Your words hurt me KK." I patted my chest for emphasis. "Right here."

"How is it possible that someone as stoned as you can still be such an ass?" A loud bang sounded from the room beside ours, a common occurrence and a plea for quiet. I laughed half-heartedly, my legs lifting into the air further than they should be able to. There was humor hidden in the words of my roommate that I knew he intended to be more pronounced. But that was neither here nor there and I knew his abrasive language was only said with love.

"I dunno man. I guess it's just like some kind of motherfucking, god given gift or something."

"Okay…" A flurry of red and gray blew through the air as Karkat pushed his sheets to the side. He stood, grabbing his sweatshirt from the floor beside him. He tugged it over his head and onto his bare chest, covering not only his torso but his hands along with nearly half his legs.

"It is clear that you are high as fuck right now" His keys jingled as he tossed them into his pocket. "And since I don't wanna be around to hear any of your messiah, god, what's it fuck Faygo shit." I shrugged, watching as he swiftly shut the door behind him. I moved too, back so that I was dangling half way out the window of my 10th floor dorm room; my back bent in the corner of the window frame and one leg hanging out, the other bent at an angle most people probably couldn't conjure their bodies to make.

There was something so childish about that boy; something that made him absolutely endearing, albeit sometimes trying. It was such a small detail but it made the world around me seem so much smaller, like I was actually a piece of it, not just a dot on the map or a speck of sand on a beach. Like I was actually important to the world, not just some fuck up that got sent here for the sole reason of not wanting to go back to hell…I was put here to keep an eye on him- to be his friend when no one else seemed to have the patience.

I chuckled to myself, thinking about how prophetic I must have sounded just then. My body fell a little to the left, my limbs tired and by stomach aching with hunger.

I pried myself out of the wood panels I was wedged between and stood, hunched. My back cracked as I stretched it out, still keeping a tight hold on the left over stump of my joint. I took one last, empty drag before dropping it to the wood floor and stepping on it with my bare foot, smiling in satisfaction when I heard a burning singe and a slight, needle like pain.

I scooted lethargically across the room, dragging my feet and scraping my knuckles on the floor. I looked to the back of the door, at the mirror that Karkat had nailed to it several years ago and took a moment to look over my tall, lanky frame and the stone cold skin that held it all together.

The door knob was cold as I turned it, hearing a soft creak as the metal hinges moved with the door. I looked down the nearly empty halls of my dorm building with only my head poking out of my room. The only people still walking around were wearing towels around their necks, carrying bottles of shampoo in their hands- still dry.

I lifted my arm, now walking, and sniffed at the fabric of my shirt, quickly jerking back after getting a whiff of the rank smell of BO and marijuana, two smells very similar to another, noting that I should probably take a shower soon as well.

I kept on my merry way, humming some tune that I had heard coming from someone's car this afternoon. I carried on though, blindly walking through the hallways and down endless flights of stairs. I had figured, once before leaving my room, that the vending machines might hold something to quench my hunger or bide me time till breakfast. My feet had just hit the floor of the lobby when I heard a rapid knocking on the window of the front door.

It took me a moment to actually figure out where it was coming from. I was slightly disoriented at the moment to say the least, but frankly, that was the least of my concerns.

When I looked through the glass pane, I noticed a skinny little shrimp of a boy who looked more like a 12 year old and less like the teenager my brain told me he was. My feet moved to the door, apparently of their own accord 'cause I was just about damned if I was going to open that door. I looked at him, my eye brows pushed together.

"Can I…help you?" I asked, trying to sound sincere. But trying to be concerned, especially about things that don't actually matter is sort of a challenge for me. The boy looked at me, slightly taken aback for some reason with these ridiculously wide pair of light brown eyes.

"I…I'm sorry…I really need to go up to my room so I was-um-wondering…could you let me in?" I quirked an eyebrow and let out a breathy snort. The kid had a voice about as annoying as his 5 foot stature and tiny little stick arms.

I shook my head remorsefully . "Sorry, but no can do broseph." I lifted my hand to my mouth, ready to take a drag but forgetting that I had nothing left in my fingers to smoke. I dropped my arm back down, looking shamefully to my left and right.

"W…what? Why not?" He pulled on the door handle again.

"Look at that clock." I said, pointing a bony, ebony finger at the clock next to the elevator. "Tell me what time it is."

"It's…10:34."

"Exactly! It is past curfew! Therefore, I cannot let no motherfucker in, whether he is annoying as hell or not!" I stated this rather matter of factly. It was true that I was not supposed to let people in the dorm building, day or night; I confirmed this by glancing at a piece of paper, conveniently placed next to the door. Not that I really cared though cause since when does the school stoner follow the rules? I watched as the boy's face fell, concern painted over his features. It was like that annoying little face of his was pulling on my heart strings or something…

"Motherf-mmmf. Fine…" I pulled the door open, rolling my eyes. "I still think you are a pedophile though…" I whispered just loud enough for the boy to hear before retreating back up the stairs, forgetting entirely about the food I had intended on buying.

"M…my name is…Tavros…not pedophile."

I smiled to myself. Tavros…

That was a really awkward name.

"I'm Gamzee…"

Showers never stop feeling good. It doesn't matter how old you get or how tired you are; they will always make a bad day better - unless you drown then you are just really fucking stupid.

But really now, I swear, if all these motherfuckers don't stop staring at me imma flip some serious shit on em! I mean really- I have been going to this school for what, 6 years?! People that have been here for a while know better than to stare, but every year there are those one or two new kids who just can't take their eyes off me.

Sometimes I wonder if it because of my amazing sexiness or because of something else…

Either way, those asshats need to grow up and I need to stop taking cursing lessons from Karkat. I took a face cloth, wiping away the god forsaken paint from my skin and looking back to see a disgustingly thick layer of grey coating the white cloth.

I honestly don't understand why I wear it, the face paint I mean. I walk around like a clown and thinking it's normal but really, I know it is not and I need to get a better grip on reality because while I might go to a preforming arts school now, I won't when I am older and dressing like a Juggalo… not something most people do in public. I mean, I should be proud of my scars, right?

Quite the opposite actually. They are like some sick reminder and I would rather people not see them. Every day I wake up and BAM! Right there, staring me in the face is my life story. It is like some stupid joke I can't wake up from… I think the only ones to ever see me without it are John and Karkat and trust me, we do NOT want to relive that experience.

A wave of tremors sneaks up my spine merely at the thought.

I straightened my back, facing the wall the entire time, shielding myself from the rest of the teenage boys with whom I shared a bathing hall. I knew they weren't paying attention to me. I knew they weren't watching as closely as my paranoia led me to believe but that is a fear that is nearly unavoidable.

I turned, walking towards the shower, face down and a towel over my head, staring intently at the linoleum floor, praying to God that they just wouldn't notice and, God may they, wouldn't ask.

My feet floated on top of the dark blue carpet of the hallway. I kept my head down, ruffling my dripping hair with an equally as wet towel. My mind blanked for a moment as my hand reached into my back pocket, pulling out a joint and I small, purple lighter with my initials engraved into its side.

God knows where I get 'em all.

The smoke filled my lungs and I held it for a few moments before breathing back out.

And then my foot was hurting. I couldn't really tell what I had run into, but my foot had hit something hard. I heard someone grunt. It sounded kind of airy through my high, but that was nothing foreign to me.

I looked beyond my makeshift veil of a towel to see a boy who I had evidently just kicked.

"Wazzup Tavbro? You're lookin a lil blue." My voice was loud and pitchy. I could tell by the look on the boy's face that he knew what was in my hand- his disapproval was equally as clear.

The kid shook his head, laughing a charming little laugh that made my stomach acids sizzle in disgust. He ruffled the back of his Mohawk with his hands, eyes closed and a nervous grin covering most of his face.

"M…my roommate…" He stopped and smiled again, this one even more shy than the last. "He locked me out…"

I looked to the door, a sock wound tightly around the handle. My horse like laugh rang through the hall way, as loud and obnoxious as ever.

"Well, I guess he did."

I took another drag from my joint, breathing the smoke out through my nose. My chin feel to my chest and I saw Tavros, lookin at me, his upper lip cocked to the left in disgust.

"Well, you better get used to sleeping in the hall." I said, keeping a close ear to my voice, making sure I wasn't being too loud.

Tavros knitted his perfectly plucked eyebrows together and I laughed at the confused look on his face. I pointed to the door behind our backs.

"See, that there is Eggbro's room ." I took another drag. "Boy has one motherfucking vamped up sex drive if you ask me."

"I thought girls weren't allowed in Grogan dorms." My lips pulled into a tight, face stretching smile. This kid was eating bullshit for dinner if that is what he believed. Though, in truth, I found that I couldn't blame him. My personal experience was more than slightly different from the average.

"They're not." I whispered just loud enough for the boy with the Mohawk to hear. "But your innocence is greatly appreciated in this sullen as fuck universe we human beings inhabit." The last part came as an after-thought and with much more enthusiasm than the former statement. I stood and began walking to my room at the end of the hall, stopping after a couple of steps.

"You know," I paused. "You could sleep in my room tonight…If you wanted."

"What about your roommate?" Tavros asked coyly. I smirked, almost forgetting to keep myself from turning to face him.

Fucking face and fucking scars…

"You know, at first I thought your motherfuckin clear incomprehension of the teenager/boarding school life was all cute and shit," I kaughed under my breath, shaking my head. "But this is too motherfuckin much." I finally turned around. "My roommate and Eggbro…"A couple pelvic thrusts were sent in his direction, with hopes that I had finally gotten my point across.

Still, his face was unchanging, like he didn't even slightly get the extremely obvious sexual reference. I exhaled through my nose and pulled a hand in his direction.

"Just come on already." The boy was quick to follow me as I retreated towards my room; pulling the door open without the bother of unlocking it – I was never that good at remembering keys.

My feet dragged along the linoleum of my dingy, dorm room floor, kicking unworn shirts and plenty worn pants in any and every direction. I leaned forward, crashing onto my mattress, a puff of cold air rising around me.

"Sleep…" I whispered into the fluff of white. My mouth was full of cotton and blanket, but I really didn't care. It felt so good to finally be lying on a bed; like some dream cloud. "It's like a motherfucking miracle man…"

There was silence on the other end though. In the back of my head I was wondering if Tavros had just turned around and stayed in the hall way, but I knew better. He was probably already in KK's bed, spread out and sleeping in a most peaceful manner.

I decided to ignore his presence, choosing instead to lay still, content in my bed with the covers pulled tight around my head and as little light a possible sneaking in around me. I was starting to feel my high wearing off and, in all honesty, there was nothing that bothered me more than that feeling. With that headache that comes every time and the fucking nightmare of a mindset that I start to think in. Every night…every god damn night…why couldn't it just stay forever and I could always be hyped up and excited and care free?

Why couldn't I be happy forever?

"H…hey? Gamzee…?" I was shocked to hear the elephant voice of the aforementioned boy as it interrupted my very important and probably overthought train that I was taking into the psycho land of Gamzee Makara's mind.

"Ya?" I said back, my voice muffled by the blankets that surrounded me and the pillow in my face.

"Are you…always this high?"

I snorted and tried to remind myself to stop doing that because it is a really unattractive sound and attractive people do not make unattractive noises.

"Heh…you should ask that motherfucker of a roommate of mine…that is if you ever have the displeasure of meeting him."

"Well," he paused "why then?" With that innocent voice of his, I was almost half tempted to forgive him for asking such a rude question. In all actuality though, it was a very good question and a very hard one at that.

Never the less, it took me a moment to figure out how to respond to his question. I had, in fact, never really taken the time to think about the 'probable psychological trauma that I had more than likely faced as a child'. If memory serves me right - which it doesn't usually but we can skip over that slight road block - that is what my Father suspected brought all this fuckery and shit around to me. That was years ago though, so it was really just bullshit that he was spewing like he always did and probably still does….we don't talk much to say the least.

"I dunno really…I guess it is fun…"

"Oh…"

Then, like a switch of a light we were quiet again and I was left to start thinking all too much as my high became a more and more distant memory. Thoughts will usually just start swirling around my head like mush at this point in time. They start to make no sense because I am not making sense and my sentences seem to run on forever and ever and they just won't stop because I just can't stop thinking…

"Hey, Tavros?

"Ya…"

I swallowed a lump that had appeared seemingly out of the blue just a moment ago.

"I think…the real reason I go and get all up and fucked up is cause…well…I guess…being high, being lost in the present means that I have that much more trouble remembering the past." I licked my lips, gnawing bitterly at the bottom one, "And Tavbro?"

"Ya?"

My eyes closed and I tried to will away the images as they snuck into my mind like snakes. But they were, getting far too tight, and I was struggling to stay at the surface without the words exploding from my lungs. And as hard as I was trying to push them away and keep them from coming out my mouth, tears were starting to leak from the corners of my eyes and my heart was beating like a drum and I just couldn't get it to slow down even though I really didn't want to say this to anyone, especially not some stranger with a Mohawk and an elephant for his vocal chords. But then again…

"The past is a scary place…."


	2. Chapter 2

Waking up in the morning sober always makes me feel like a baby cat that just got tossed off the roof of some really tall building onto a double decker bus only to be sat on by an obesely fat man. But I don't think obesely is a word, so I take that statement back.

My eyes opened once, then twice before staying that way. They were still locked half way open, trying to block out the sunlight with my lashes. My lips parted, letting my jaw drop slightly. My chest felt heavy and my body was aching, even laying completely still like I was. A growl pulled itself from the depths of my stomach and a snarl pulled against the upper corner of my lips. I hated this waking up every morning in a dorm room with the rank smell of weed and BO. It was cold and lifeless and the door creaked and slammed shut with all the brevity of a meteor.

There was silence, leaving the sad assumption in my head that no one had entered. But my expectations were met with false security as I was assaulted with this fucking cold as shit air as my blanket was all but ripped from my body. I felt someone's hands assaulting my body, beating roughly at me while I tried to bury myself beneath my pillows.

"WHAT THE GOD DAMN HELL IS THIS MOHAWKED FUCKFACE DOING IN MY BED!?" My roommate screamed as he continued with his vigorous assault tactics on my head. I groaned loudly, slightly concerned about the other people in our hall way that might be losing sleep over this particularly bad episode of his. Albeit it wasn't the loudest as some of the others he had over the years, it was probably too early in the day for anything like this.

"KK…" I mumbled, voice entirely muffled by cotton fluff. Somehow though, he managed to hear me clearly.

"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR MARAJUANA HANGOVER GAMZEE! I WANNA KNOW WHY THE HELL THIS NIMROD IS IN MY BED!" The short boy ended with a huff, moving away and ceasing his vicious attack. When I was sure that all was safe, I slowly moved to a sitting position, rubbing at my eyes and keeping my hand there after feeling the lack of paint. I glared at him with swollen purple irises, only slits between my fingers.

"What the motherfucking hell was that, Karkat?" My voice was anything but friendly when those words escaped my head. Karkat slowly backed away from me, an almost fearful look marring his features. I brushed his overly sensitive reaction off and looked over his shoulder to aforementioned fuckface who was still laying down, facing the wall.

"Ya hear that, broskii?"

"Ya…" He whispered, nearly inaudible. I bowed my head for a moment, thinking about what Karkat had said about my "marijuana hangover". I looked over to him, where he stood, looking through his dresser. I took my hand off my face, using it to push myself up off the bed.

"Where'd you put the Pom-Bong?"

"Top shelf of my closet. Cleaned it out too." The boy pulled out a black V-neck t-shirt and held it up to himself before draping it over his shoulder to continue on his search for pants. I wiggled my eyebrows a little as I stood, walking to where I had been instructed and easily reaching the object in question. With a little more searching, I came across a small Altoids tin, pulling it down too and going to the window.

I sat myself down in the same position I had spent the whole weekend in, opening the tin and extracting a small amount of crushed up leaf, dropping it gently into the POM bottle.

It floated on the surface for a moment and I watched it, not bothering to look behind me to see a particularly prudent brunette boy watching my back intently.

I lit a match, dropping it in and deeply inhaling the steaming hot smoke into my lungs. It was dry and refreshing and man….I felt beautiful…

Tavros watched the boy's back from where he lay on the bed, his face half buried in blankets, barely peeking his eyes out of the edge. He watched as the boy released thick, foggy smoke from his mouth, breathing it up his nose with a large, breathless sigh. He noticed when his head rolled back and hell freeze over if he didn't notice when the boy hunched over and started snickering like a mad-fuck.

The look on his face was slightly confused as he turned to the boy's roommate who seemed to not even notice the current circumstances and was currently attempting and failing at taming his hair.

"Um…Gamzee's roommate?"

"It's Karkat."

"Oh…ya. Um Karkat? Gamzee is kinda…um…" The boy snapped around, glaring daggers at the small, obnoxious boy who sat on his bed. Just as he opened his mouth to make some sort of snappy retort, his eyes locked on the boy sitting on the windowsill, making lazy body rolls and grinning dopily. His maroon eyes rolled into the back of his head and right back down as he walked over, grabbing the Pom bong from the grasp of the other.

"Is this Salvia? Really Gamzee, on a fucking Monday? YOU HAVE SCHOOL!" The boy, clearly on some sort of wild trip just looked at him, giggling and wearing the dopiest grin someone could ever manage.

"Wazza nom! I need some KK!" It was clear from the look on Karkat's face that he had had quite enough of whatever games his roommate may be playing. It was also made quite clear that he was no stranger to this type of drug. He grabbed at Gamzee's chin, tilting it back to look at him and shaking it with vigor.

As if at the shot of a bullet, Karkat turned his attention to Tavros.

"How deep is he?"

"W-what?" There was a short pause.

"Seriously…?" The boy asked sarcastically with an eyebrow raised. He brushed it off though, setting the makeshift bong on a table beside him and jumping onto his roommate's bed.

"Hey Gamz! Come on over – we're gonna have a party!" The sentence was oddly out of character for the young, grey looking boy, as far as the new comer could tell, but this was clearly a situation that he was used to dealing with.

Just as one would expect, the boy being addressed bounded over in one swift leap and soon had his face buried deeply into the purple silk sheets. His laugh was still wild and whirlwind, but Karkat took that as his moment to make an exit.

He walked to the bedpost and grabbed a grey sweatshirt, slinging it around his arm. His face fell on Tavros, who still sat in the opposing boy's bed.

"You should take this as a fucking god send. Go get you jim-jams off or whatever and come back in a minute. That shit only lasts 3….5 at best. Just make sure he doesn't jump out of a window or some stupid tom foolery like that."

With that, the boy shut the door to his dorm room, leaving, in his wake, a very confused looking sophomore sitting on a bed of black cotton and denim. He let his amber eyes wander to the other boy, left with his face still smashed into his bed and rocking back and forth.

Tavros agreed with the bitter teenager who had previously occupied the room. It looked like he was going to be okay, so he might as well take his leave and get some clean clothes on. It was indeed a Monday and he really didn't need to be late on his first day.

The mohawked boy stood, noticing for the first time that his trunks had been placed at the center of the room, directly in between the two beds. He grabbed one of them, the brown leather one and unbuckled it with shaking fingers and extracted a pair of jeans and a caramel colored t-shirt. Without another word, he made his move to leave.

Just as the young teenager was about to shut the door, he found himself looking back and barely catching a glimpse of a pale white face looking up towards the ceiling. And on his face was something that Tavros, in his early morning state, couldn't quite make out, but it was there; three long, purple and red scars.

Tavros continued on his way though, not completely aware of what he may or may not have just seen. Frankly, he was so tired at this point, he wasn't sure he HAD seen anything.

The halls were relatively busy compared to the dead state they had been in the previous evening. There were various people of the male gender running around madly between the bathrooms and other quickly opening and closing doors and Tavros really wondered what their hurry was.

He would find out shortly.

Elegant fingers extended themselves towards the knob of dorm room number 638 and effortlessly pulled the door open revealing a giggling young boy with a mop of dark brown hair. Tavros stood stock still as said boy flung himself in his direction, encircling the boy in the strong smell of baked goods.

"Oh my GOD! I am so sorry!" Tavros raised an eyebrow at the pleadingly apologetic boy clinging to him.

"It's…um…it's fine?"

"No it's not! I locked you out…" While he had seemed truly remorseful for a moment there, he was quick to put a smile on his face, extending a hand in greeting.

"I'm John!" Tavros looked at the hand, not quite sure what to do with it. I mean, sure, he knew he was supposed to shake it, but this boy…didn't really seem like the hand shaking type. More like the "invade your personal space and possibly accidently try and molest you" type. He didn't question it too long though, grabbing for the extended appendage and shaking twice for good measure.

"Tavros." His voice came out quiet and meek, but it didn't seem like the other cared too much. He simply released and moved away, walking towards a full length mirror that was pinned to the wall, examining himself in the same way Gamzee's roommate had previously.

Tavros tried to not pay attention, walking towards an unmade, empty bed that he rightly assumed was his. He tugged the shirt over his head and his pants on over his legs, having to participate in a great deal of shimmying to get them all the way up and not disrupt his junk. As his fingers commenced their unfair battle with the button and zipper, a knock sounded at the door.

Tavros's head shot up from where it had been, fallen back on the bed along with his entire body, to see John going to get the door. Once opened, it revealed a boy, tall and unusually skinny with a ridiculous grin still plastered to his face.

"Hey Gamzee."

"Sup Eggbro. Is my motherfucker of a roommate here?" He looked into the room, searching for Karkat in vein.

"Na. KK left for breakfast a few minutes ago." With a nod of the head, the subject was dropped and Tavros found himself staring deeply into the violet eyes of Gamzee Makara. He hadn't really gotten a good look at his face the night before, but now that he really took a good hard look, he noticed something very important:

That clown makeup was freaky as fuck.

Still, it seemed that he didn't see the shy, brunette boy lying stiff on the bed and that was totally okay with Tavros as he noticed him turning to leave. When the door closed, said boy stood, brushing himself off and picking up a bag off the floor, which he had grabbed from beside his trunks before leaving.

"I should…get going." He said in his usual, wavering pitch. His roommate only looked at him, shrugging and going back to meticulously examining himself in the mirror.

I looked to my left, to my right and back to the left.

I hated being the new kid…

I find that, as the new kid, you never know what to do around other people. That might be contributing to my considerably heightened social awkwardness, although it is usually pretty conspicuous to begin with.

I held a bottle of apple juice in one hand, glancing about and trying to find a table that looked like they might be okay with a complete and total stranger coming up to sit with them. But remember, these are teenagers and teenagers, especially Californians, are notoriously bitchy, and this is the morning.

"Um! You!" A voice said, completely out of the blue. I looked around, searching for the person that they might be referring to but seeing no one other than myself. The voice in question came running towards me with a small but noticeable skip in her step. She looked at me, smiling in a way that was quite possibly creepier than the one that I had seen earlier that morning on that clown kid's face.

I looked back at the girl, eyebrows slightly pushed together and pointed at my chest. She only laughed and continued with her disturbingly peaceful face.

"Oh course silly!" Her voice was obnoxiously high pitched and reminded me of that one girl from that movie that gets hit by a bus. "You're…Tavros right?" I opened my mouth to respond with a perfectly justifiable question about how she knew my name, but she interrupted me before I got the chance.

"Well, it is fabulous to finally put a face to a name! I'm Vriska, BY the way!" I wanted to roll my eyes at her, but I was kind of in a really stunning situation at the moment, frazzled by the unbelievable god complex that this girl seemed to have. I watched as she flicked a tongue out, running it along the bottom of her canine tooth.

"You know, you should totally sit with us!" I tried to object, I really did, but for some reason, when in the presence of queen bees, as I am sure this girl was, most high school students find themselves unable to make any sort of protest. So I followed her, apple juice in tow and my shoulders hunched, trying my hardest to disappear but once in my seat, I found that nearly impossible.

"So, tell us where you are from Tavros." The girl, Vriska, said, referring to herself and her fellow comrades that looked equally as intimidating save one girl wearing a vintage, white lace dress. I arched one of my perfectly plucked eyebrows and bit at my lip.

"Um….New Jersey…" I answered bleakly.

"That is soooo cool!" Vriska said with mock interest. It was really annoying if you asked me, but it didn't look like any of the others particularly minded, so I supposed I should keep my mouth shut about her inherent bitchyness. "And…what did you say you were studying?"

"I…didn't…but um…general dance." I looked around the table, looking for any hint of interest in that statement and found none before coming to the face of the girl in the lace dress.

"Really? What group are you in?" There was no artificial amusement in her voice. I could tell from the look on her face that she was genuinely interested. But this was soon shot down with one look in dark blue eyes and hipster glasses. The Captain Bitch switched her glare from the nice looking girl to me, with an expectant look on her face and a hand positioned in a feminine manner under her chin.

"Senior division two I think..." I bit back at my stutter, annoyed that it was choosing now to act up and be a little more finicky.

Vriska made another face of simulated pleasure and the most ear-splitting scream I have ever heard.

"Oh my Gosh! That is the group me and Feferi are in!" The girl in the dress waved, identifying herself as the girl with the F name. "Some of our other…male spectrum friends are also in it…" she sighed and I tried to suppress an ever growing need to moan. "But they are off being boys and what not."

That was really the end of the conversation as far as I was concerned. Everyone else suddenly fell into a quiet state, eating their food in an awkward and slightly uncomfortable silence. Frankly, at that point, was just about ready to get up and leave. As sure as I was that Vriska was probably a really nice person somewhere deep down in that heart of hers, I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for me to tarnish her silver polished reputation.

"Sooo…." A voice suddenly said in what was still probably one of the more obnoxious voices I had come across in my existence. I looked at Vriska, having easily pinned the voice as hers. "I need to go to my room real quick. Walk me." Now, inside, I was thinking hell to the fuck no in just about every language my brain could come up with. I would sooner wet my pants in the middle of the lunch hall than spend alone time with this girl because fuck if she reminded me of a snake or spider…or maybe a llama. But of course, like the oblivious person that I am, I nodded a quick yes and made swift to follow her out of the doors.

Every now and then, walking down the sidewalk, I would start to wander a little bit to my left, trying to get myself a little further away from the person I will now refer to as Spider bitch because it sounds a hell of a lot more threatening than llama whore, which was my next best. To be honest, she was kinda freaking me out, what with her smiling and swinging her arms all about with them hooked behind her back.

I wanted to say something. Make up some excuse as to why I had to leave, but I got this feeling of impending doom every time I opened my mouth. Like she was just about to rip my neck off and throw me to her arachnid babies.

And then she had to open her own god damned mouth…

"Listen, Tavros. You" She giggled lightly. "…You can't be friends with him

"W-what?"

"Gamzee Makara. I heard you were talking to him last night. I mean, don't get me wrong, as totally popular and nice, and handsome he is, you just can't be friends with him. I mean, think about what he has done."

"Uh….mm...excuse me?"

The girl looked at him with the same stupid, mocking grin that she gave his earlier. She put a hand to her chest and I was half tempted to punch her in the face, but alas, my better side prevailed.

"Awe you really are new aren't you?" My better side was about to have a breakthrough here… "Well…you'll find out soon enough. But really, you should do what I tell you. I like you, and it is in your best interest to follow me because I will lead you to the right places, rather than take you down a dark and mysterious road of heart break and hell." She said all this with a smile on her face, like some sort of senior prick that picks on the freshman. Which really, she was doing, but I wasn't a freshman, which made it that much more pathetic.

"I…I don't know." Once again, I cursed that stupid speech impediment of mine.

"No! You do know!" The girl with glowing blue eyes walked towards me, effectively pinning me to the wall. I could feel her breath as she spoke directly into my ear her tongue almost licking my skin. My mind jumped back to earlier when she ran it along her canines like some kind of rabid animal. "You are going to do what I tell you to, or I am going to push you right down that road and I am going to chain you up and leave you there until you die some horrible, traumatic, painful death! Kaykay?" She blinked a couple of times with big, wide eyes and god damn it…I thought I was going to piss my pants at any second.

"Loud and clear…" I muttered under my breath, pushing her out of my way. I looked at her, not quite meeting her gaze, but trying to make it seem like I had. "We…we have class."

I could see just her mouth from underneath my eyelashes. It was perked upwards into a smile, just the bottom of those two meat devouring teeth peeking out from behind her lips. They were as red as blood and I could almost see pin pricking dots of blood come to the surface as she bit tentatively at them.

"Ya, I know." She whispered and without a moment's notice placed a hand delicately on the top of my head, ruffling my barely there hair. My eyes closed for that moment, my shoulders hunching up for fear of a much more brutal impact. When they reopened, I was looking at her back as she ran away towards wherever she was going.

"I'll meet you there, okay Tavros!?" She said, waving a hand at me, and for a moment, I wondered if I was looking at the same person that had me pinned to a wall just a few minutes earlier. I stared after her for a minute, looking now into empty space plastered in between concrete buildings. I sighed, turning to go back to wherever the hell it was that I was supposed to be. Right when I turned, I came to face with a girl, smiling and bouncing like a giddy school girl.

"Don't worry about her. She will be on time. She always is. Anyways, you don't want to be late to your first rehearsal!" She said. Her voice sounded like it was overflowing with pretty colored bubbles and fruit by the foots as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards some unknown direction. She continued to smile at me with slightly raised eyebrows and her curls bouncing around her shoulders as she walked beside me, glancing at me every now and then.

"Ya…hey um….you're Feferi right? You….Vriska said you were…um…in GD?" The girl nodded at me in full force.

"Mmhmm. Been in the program for 4 years, I have." I furrowed my eyebrows in response and pursed my lips, hoping that she didn't hear all too much of that conversation back there with the spider bitch.

Now was my turn to stare though. I watched how she moved effortlessly and watched the sky as she walked. It was no wonder she was a dancer, she had all the qualities to make it in this industry.

"Hey Tavros?" She said, still looking up.

"Mmhmm?"

I could hear her take in a deep breath and then, like a bullet, she was standing in front of me with a nervous look on her face.

"I don't know what Vriska said to you about Gamzee, but….how do I put this…we were neighbors as kids, so I've known him for years and I can assure you, he is a great guy. And I love Vriska, she is a great friend, albeit sometimes overbearing, but whatever she said is probably a lie." She bit her lip gently. "He...He is very, very sensitive about a lot of things though and…you just need to be extremely careful what you say and do around him. You don't have to worry about the drugs he…won't make you do anything, trust me. He is an amazing musician and one of the nicest people I know, but…I warn you that you may want to watch your footfall around him. And please, I ask this of you not only as his friend but, I hope, as yours…don't ask him questions. He WILL tell you, but in due time." It seemed like the girl wanted to say more. I could see it in her eyes when she spoke the last words. Like she KNEW this. But as per her request I didn't ask questions, not even when her frown was replaced with a smile and she was once again pulling me behind her as she smiled and laughed her way to the theatre.


	3. Chapter 3

The theater was, simply put, magnificent. It held approximately 3000 seats and a large, glass chandelier that hung from the ceiling. The main curtain was a brilliant shade of gold and in front of it stood a handsome young man that couldn't have been over 30. He stood on the stage, pacing back and forth, watching the students in the audience with the same unwavering attention that I paid to him. Fellow dancers sat on either side of me, their faces unfamiliar and their voices obnoxiously loud. Although the plethora of teenage squeals was probably added to by the fact that it was the first day that lessons would start again for the year.

I knew from the moment I had stepped into the room that this year was going to be quite a wild ride. I was at a new school on the other side of the country where art geeks reigned supreme and druggies smoked saliva or shellfish or whatever that was at 7 in the morning and there was a hand on my shoulder, and my god, give a man a warning!

I looked up to see Vriska, alias spider bitch, with another girl whose eyes held the same manic glow that made me want to piss my pants. My eyes widened at the sight of them, not really sure what to say since I was kinda having half of a heart attack at that moment and I briefly wondered if that was even possible.

"H-Hello…" I said, breathlessly trying to communicate my thoughts as they came and went. Vriska looked at me, same accusingly intense stare as always, even though always was only about an hour, but we can leave that small detail aside. Her head tilted towards the other girl, and that was when I noticed, for the first time, that she was not the one intruding my very large personal bubble. It was, in fact, the anonymously named girl with the blank faced, apathetic stare, not too different from that of a dead body. Her eyes were staring into my soul and I felt like she was trying to eat me with all the same eagerness that most teenagers devour a hamburger. The problem here was quite obvious:

I was being creeped on by two girls with a penchant for cannibalism.

The unnamed girl moved her hand at that moment, sitting down in a seat and staring straight ahead, her eyes never wandering; never moving. I too turned back to the front, trying my hardest to ignore the possibly murderous glances that Vriska was sending the back of my head.

"Sup guys?" The man at the front of the room said in a deep, cool guy tone. "How is everyone's first day back?" The theatre erupted into a gaggle of screaming teenagers and I tried desperately to sink further into my seat, covering my ears in an attempt to muffle the sound.

The man in the front of the room laughed, throwing his head back and rolling his shoulders. He waited for a moment, letting us all chill our chops before speaking again. "I'm glad, I'm glad. But you know, this year is not going to be all fun and games." All eyes in the room locked onto him, gloom wandering on their eyes while I kept my knees locked onto the side of my head and my neck pulled into my shoulders. "You guys are seniors." He added. "Many of you will sign with companies at the end of this year, but you've gotta look good if you want that to happen." I looked up at the man through my lashes, gazing at his god like glory. At the way he managed to capture the attention of 80+ teenagers, with little to no effort. I was excited to say the least.

"When you came in there was a packet on your seat. Most of you are probably still sitting on it, so get up and look at the first page." I spun my eyes in a dizzying circle, watching as every student, save one or two, stood and pulled a thin pack of papers from underneath them. I myself had noticed before taking my seat and was now fingering the corner, pulling it up and letting it go again.

"This year, we will be studying popular culture as it relates to ballet, also known as contemporary ballet." The nasally teenage voices around me started back with their incessant chattering at this revelation, their attention now clearly captured, albeit soon released through the vocal chords of said adolescents.

"THIS," he shouted recapturing all eyes. "Will help you to connect different types of dance and learn to apply your technical knowledge, but will also teach you to apply emotion to your dancing as-well. For your final, you will be asked to complete a dance which you will choreograph on your own as well as a group number."

As soon as the bedazzling man finished his last sentence, everyone was back to talking, murmuring between each other in a way that made me feel painfully left out.

And I wish I had been but really, what does this spider bitch think she is getting at, always all up on me!

"Sooo….Have you seen Feferi?" She asked me, leaning over to rest her chin on the back of my chair. My shoulders rose and my chest shrunk into my seat in the ever anxious manner that seemed to control my body.

"…ya…" I said, trying my best to disappear into the red fabric behind me. "S-she's um…over there." I pointed towards the westward wall, where Feferi was sitting beside a boy whose face remained a mystery to me but just out of the corner of my eyes I could see a set of glasses perched on the end of his nose. When the blue eyed monster turned to look in the direction I had motioned towards, it was like an electric charge had pulsed through the room from her sheer excitement.

"SOLLUX!" She screamed shrilly across the theatre, catching, even briefly, the attention of everyone in the room. Said boy faced us with interest on his face, but upon first identifying the offending voice, he visibly deflated into an irritated pile of nothingness. The look that crossed his eyes looked like he just wanted to scream "what the fuck do you want?" It reminded me slightly of that annoying grey kid that Gamzee shared a room with.

I watched with pity as the bespectacled boy slammed his head into the back of his chair with an audible *thunk*. I watched, as Vriska waved excitedly to the boy and he tried his hardest to ignore her motions. And lastly, I watched as the apathetic eyed girl grabbed a hold of the others arm and shot her a murderous glare, one to rival the spider bitch herself, and cocked her head to the side.

"Vriska….Must we really cause a scene?" I could sense the venom on aforementioned girl's tongue even before she opened her mouth. She looked the other up and down and pulled her blood red lips into a tugging smirk of a grin and brought her eyebrows towards the ceiling.

"Well exccccuuusee me, Ms. Sassy Pants. I wasn't aware that you were in any position to tell me what to do. What, did you and Sollux get in a little…domestic again? That's unfo-"

"Vriska, STOP IT!" I screamed, not thinking for one minute before the words even left my mouth. It was like fucking word vomit, the way they just came up out of the blue. Both sets of eyes, one pair ice blue and the other one, something closer to the color of a blueberry shot themselves at me with all the speed of a bullet, and with their eyes now on me, I suddenly found myself at a loss for words.

"I…I mean….uhm…please don't fight?" The girl with the ice blue eyes turned her attention to the packet in her lap with little more than a sigh while Vriska kept her eyes glued to me, glaring reproachfully.

"Do you remember that talk we had earlier?" She asked, daring me, challenging me to fight her.

"…yes." My eyes shot down to my lap.

"And you know that you can hold me to my word….right?" She ended with a sugary sweet burn in her voice. It was like pouring acid on a cut, the way she said it. I didn't even dare to respond to the question, knowing full well that is was rhetorical and even one flaw in my wording would throw me under the bus.

And with nothing left to do, I simply had to keep my mouth closed and wait for the class to begin.

I've never been particularly good with keeping track of things—keys are probably the worst for me.

When I got back to the dorm room after an exhausting round of lifts and turns, I quickly found that my key was nowhere to be found. While this would not be much of a problem for most students, I had also found that my roommate had the wonderful habit of never being around. This left me sitting in front of my room, patiently waiting for him to return from whatever adventure he may have found himself on.

"Hey, ma lil' bro. Egderp out again?"

I knew who was talking before I even had to look up from the book that lay in my lap. It was that same distinctive, deep, bright laugh that I had come to be familiar with over the past 24 hours. I closed my book, laying it in between my bent knees and torso.

"Hey Gamzee…" I whispered, shyly. After that, I found that words refused to come to my grasp. They got lost somewhere about the black case in the other boys hand and the smeared grey and white paint around his lips. I continued to search fruitlessly for a phrase to appease his mind.

"Yes." The words gathered at the teetering edge of my teeth before spilling out. Gamzee nodded at me, black curls bouncing beyond the frame of his face.

"I gottcha." He placed his case beside me, lowering his body next to it, his legs spread in front of him, almost reaching the wall parallel. I looked over to the long, granular, black box with the hood at one end. I saw it picked up by a handle, carried into a large lap beside my own.

I knew what it was- I'm not stupid. I also had the prior knowledge of knowing that Gamzee was a music student. He pulled the trombone from its case, hooking on a long, greased slide with ease and insterting a mouth piece.

"Mind if I just chill here with you?" He asked, resting the instrument on his shoulder. I looked at him, nodding slowly in confirmation.

A loud bellow echoed down the hall, ringing from the bell of the brass mechanism with breathtaking clarity. There was a breathless quality to his music; not a hollow one, but one that made it sound like love poured into a song.

I curled my legs into my chest, laying a cheek on my knees and closing my eyes, listening only to the sweet melody of salvation resonating from the boy with the gold trombone.

"Breathtaking…" I whispered into the air.

"You really think so?"

My eyes shot open when he spoke. I had been sure to speak quietly enough so that he wouldn't hear but I suppose a musicians ears might just be better than mine.

"Well…" I pushed my legs away from myself, laying my hands over my hips. "Ya."

The behemoth wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into the side of his chest. He laughed his flighty laugh and squeezed me even tighter than before. "Well a mighty big thanks lil'bro!"

I peered warily down at my legs, not sure how to respond to the physical contact. His arms were mighty heavy and his breath was rattling my nerves. I looked at my arm, checking for the time. John had said he would be back around noon and the watch around my wrist told me that it was such. This being said, I saw no such boy entering the premises.

I fell backwards, landing on the hard linoleum dorm floor. My head cracked against the surface, leaving a pulsing headache in its wake. John looked down at me and I saw another figure walk past him, black jeans and a grey sweatshirt. John was, dully noted, not wearing a shirt.

"You aren't allowed to play in the dorms." A volatile voice said from beside me. Instinct told me that it was Gamzee's grey faced roommate, but I found myself unable to keep my eyes open long enough to get a look for myself.

I felt two hands on my shoulders, not quite rattling but knocking me from side to side in a less than careful manner.

"Did I kill him!?" John's voice rang out. A plastered groan escaped my mouth and my eyes welded shut even tighter than before.

"That really hurt you know…"

"Ya, I know."

There was a sly sense of desire to his words but I let the thought slip away. I gripped the cold ground with my fingers and pushed myself to a sitting position. Struggling to stand, I pressed my hands to the wall for balance. The metal was just as cold as the floor though and my found myself wobbling towards my bed with little tact.

"I'm gonna pass on lunch."

"You sure…?" I heard John say. I collapsed onto my bed with a groan and the metal springs creaked beneath my weight.

"Ya." I said into my pillow. "I'm sure."


End file.
